So I just spent two incredible weeks in the United States. I knew that I needed to get away, and really needed to talk with people, but I had no idea just how badly I needed it.
I am so blessed to have such amazing friends who have always been my extended family, therapy, and free entertainment.
I am back. It is difficult coming back because right now is for lack of a better word - limbo. The volunteers come ten days, and preparations are being made for their arrival. There isn't much more I can do at this point except wait for them to come.
I am back. It is difficult coming back because I loved being back in Virginia more than I thought I would. It is difficult coming back because I took the time to reflect on myself and learned that maybe this path I have been walking down for the past four years really isn't for me. It is difficult coming back because I don't feel there is anymore I can do for the families, because I don't want to get anymore involved than I already am because I will be elsewhere mentally and physically for the next month with volunteers and my family coming. The kids have been using the computers and are well prepared to maneuver a computer. I started giving classes with the understanding that by this time we would have a proper computer teacher, or, at least, a proper teacher additionally to Sergio. We have neither. I have given the kids what I can.
I am ready to move on to the next stage of my life. I feel like I have been swimming up stream working for SHH. It has been difficult, challenging, and not at all what I was expecting. I am ready to move on. I will miss Honduras, and the families, but I think they will actually do better with out us here. It is time that they don't have a constant SHH presence in their lives.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
November already?
The time has just flown by. I apologize to all two of you who read my blog and ask for posts. I knew I would be terrible at this.
Tonight we lost power out from about 4 PM until 7 PM. (Exactly the hours I give computer classes, which was unfortunate)
It was crazy not having power. I have not had to experience that much in my life, but most of the families here spent years with out power. They have become accustomed to it again after being here for the past year.
We are surrounded by "palmeras" or palm tree farm land. It is pitch black, goodness knows what goes on in there at night, and my friend Bobby likes to say, "its what I envision it must have been like in 'Where the Wild Things Are'". I am not actually frightened to be here ever, so I am still not afraid in the dark, but it is a crazy feeling to literally have no lights, save the moon.
I went next door for dinner to Don Ramon and Doña Natalias. She made steak skewers and beans for us. I always have mixed feelings when they invite us over for dinner. Especially when its really good food like steak. It is wonderful to have neighbors who are your friends and invite you over for dinner, but at the same time, they aren't wealthy. I wish they would save the food for themselves, but they are more generous than one can imagine.
I have been feeling down lately because I feel like I am not doing enough. My job for SHH became spending more time at the bank, the car repair shop, running errands, and paying bills than working with the kids or the chapters. This has added to my running frustration with the organization. I have put in four years time into this organization. I focused on International Development in my UG, and spent time with International Development professionals trying to learn all that I could on what makes a successful project, specifically an Education Center.
Yet I have no say here.
On top of that, I don't see much upward movement of the Ed Center. Its been four months and we are roughly in the same state. We have more students coming from the colonia, and the kids are progressing in their computer work, and apparently doing better in school, but we have no new programs, and no teachers. Why is this? Why don't we have teachers?
I realized one problem - me. I said when I started working for SHH that I wanted to spend time at the Ed Center, and help out. My volunteering at the Ed Center at night was just to tie things over until we got teachers. It was also my attempt to offer classes to the adults.
The adults never came, and we haven't even started looking for teachers.
Why is this?
The adults feel like they are a lost cause. Many of them feel like they are too uneducated and therefore unworthy of using a computer, and don't want to be embarrassed. Also, many of them have spent the day working, or are spending the evening making dinner, cleaning the dishes, the kids, and the house.
We haven't started looking for teachers because "we have four SHH employees who work at the Ed Center". Me, Walker, Sergio (who does all the teaching by himself all day, but really should be spending his time administrating projects since he is the DIRECTOR), and Ingrid (a nice woman who is not an educator. She can watch the kids for about five minutes before getting distracted). Being able to say there are four SHH employees working at the Ed Center means there is no reason to pay for another person to teach here.
Does this mean I should quit teaching to ensure that SHH starts looking for a teacher within the next few months? Teaching my class is what gets me through the week. It is challenging, new, exciting, and EXACTLY why I wanted to come down here in the first place.
This turned into a rant. And not a cohesive one. I will read through it later.
Right now I am focusing on getting through the next two weeks. In mid November I will be retuning to the USA to the great Commonwealth of Virginia where I shall see my friends and family whom I have missed dearly.
In the next two weeks I am challenging myself to have a great time, spend as much time with the kids, and brush off the annoyances that come along with this organization. I have been having a great time down here, just the last couple of weeks have been tough. I'm trying to shake off that feeling and help these kids as much as I can.
Ojala.
Tonight we lost power out from about 4 PM until 7 PM. (Exactly the hours I give computer classes, which was unfortunate)
It was crazy not having power. I have not had to experience that much in my life, but most of the families here spent years with out power. They have become accustomed to it again after being here for the past year.
We are surrounded by "palmeras" or palm tree farm land. It is pitch black, goodness knows what goes on in there at night, and my friend Bobby likes to say, "its what I envision it must have been like in 'Where the Wild Things Are'". I am not actually frightened to be here ever, so I am still not afraid in the dark, but it is a crazy feeling to literally have no lights, save the moon.
I went next door for dinner to Don Ramon and Doña Natalias. She made steak skewers and beans for us. I always have mixed feelings when they invite us over for dinner. Especially when its really good food like steak. It is wonderful to have neighbors who are your friends and invite you over for dinner, but at the same time, they aren't wealthy. I wish they would save the food for themselves, but they are more generous than one can imagine.
I have been feeling down lately because I feel like I am not doing enough. My job for SHH became spending more time at the bank, the car repair shop, running errands, and paying bills than working with the kids or the chapters. This has added to my running frustration with the organization. I have put in four years time into this organization. I focused on International Development in my UG, and spent time with International Development professionals trying to learn all that I could on what makes a successful project, specifically an Education Center.
Yet I have no say here.
On top of that, I don't see much upward movement of the Ed Center. Its been four months and we are roughly in the same state. We have more students coming from the colonia, and the kids are progressing in their computer work, and apparently doing better in school, but we have no new programs, and no teachers. Why is this? Why don't we have teachers?
I realized one problem - me. I said when I started working for SHH that I wanted to spend time at the Ed Center, and help out. My volunteering at the Ed Center at night was just to tie things over until we got teachers. It was also my attempt to offer classes to the adults.
The adults never came, and we haven't even started looking for teachers.
Why is this?
The adults feel like they are a lost cause. Many of them feel like they are too uneducated and therefore unworthy of using a computer, and don't want to be embarrassed. Also, many of them have spent the day working, or are spending the evening making dinner, cleaning the dishes, the kids, and the house.
We haven't started looking for teachers because "we have four SHH employees who work at the Ed Center". Me, Walker, Sergio (who does all the teaching by himself all day, but really should be spending his time administrating projects since he is the DIRECTOR), and Ingrid (a nice woman who is not an educator. She can watch the kids for about five minutes before getting distracted). Being able to say there are four SHH employees working at the Ed Center means there is no reason to pay for another person to teach here.
Does this mean I should quit teaching to ensure that SHH starts looking for a teacher within the next few months? Teaching my class is what gets me through the week. It is challenging, new, exciting, and EXACTLY why I wanted to come down here in the first place.
This turned into a rant. And not a cohesive one. I will read through it later.
Right now I am focusing on getting through the next two weeks. In mid November I will be retuning to the USA to the great Commonwealth of Virginia where I shall see my friends and family whom I have missed dearly.
In the next two weeks I am challenging myself to have a great time, spend as much time with the kids, and brush off the annoyances that come along with this organization. I have been having a great time down here, just the last couple of weeks have been tough. I'm trying to shake off that feeling and help these kids as much as I can.
Ojala.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Reasons why I love living here
Well, yesterday I taught three sessions of computer classes. I worked with women from our Microfinancing program, and taught them how to turn on a computer, type, move a mouse, etc. and created a Skype account so they can be in better contact with the loan officers in the US. Then we had an absolute downpour that began the second I walked into my house, and that lasted a full hour. During this time I ate left overs from a fantastic restaurant in town called Las Tejas, with limes and avocados that my friend Fran found in the village. Then we walked back and the second we got back in the building another downpour.
Class turnout was much smaller this time but I was glad to see I had a full class. This was perfect, everyone got their own computer, and were able to take their time with the class. I then gave an extra class to the students who went to Walkers English class first.
It is just great to be able to put the Education Center to use while we are still working on getting it started.
So how did this morning go?
I woke up and was greeted by my cat. I had missed the water since I woke at 7:30, so I couldn't shower, or so I thought, but it was actually late.
Washed my dishes in the BLAZING morning sun with day old water.
Ran after my cat all over the place since she likes to go on morning adventures when I do the dishes.
Then I tried to go do work in the Ed Center, but since our Internet signal is a repeater off of a neighbor in Las Brisas' Internet tower she still hadn't turned it on.
So I went home and Fran came by. He was making insecticide and asked if I wanted to learn. HECK YES I DID. I hate not understanding anything about agriculture, so I'd asked him to teach me a bunch of things. Not onl
y was it easy to make, but it was completely safe.
The most toxic thing we used was laundry detergent!
Then I had to come into town to pay for things all over the place and Meylin, the mother of many children I love and the wife of my friend Nain comes and tells me that she is having contractions and was wondering if she could get a ride to the hospital to have her baby.
This was just the morning. The rest of my day was fun, driving everywhere, paying for things, getting hit on at the gas station for the hundredth time. It is flattering usually, and I know it is going to be something I will miss once I move back to the States.
Last night we went out to Tela for 2-for-1 pizza night. Worth the drive.
Class turnout was much smaller this time but I was glad to see I had a full class. This was perfect, everyone got their own computer, and were able to take their time with the class. I then gave an extra class to the students who went to Walkers English class first.
It is just great to be able to put the Education Center to use while we are still working on getting it started.
So how did this morning go?
I woke up and was greeted by my cat. I had missed the water since I woke at 7:30, so I couldn't shower, or so I thought, but it was actually late.
Washed my dishes in the BLAZING morning sun with day old water.
Ran after my cat all over the place since she likes to go on morning adventures when I do the dishes.
Then I tried to go do work in the Ed Center, but since our Internet signal is a repeater off of a neighbor in Las Brisas' Internet tower she still hadn't turned it on.
So I went home and Fran came by. He was making insecticide and asked if I wanted to learn. HECK YES I DID. I hate not understanding anything about agriculture, so I'd asked him to teach me a bunch of things. Not onl
y was it easy to make, but it was completely safe.
The most toxic thing we used was laundry detergent!
Then I had to come into town to pay for things all over the place and Meylin, the mother of many children I love and the wife of my friend Nain comes and tells me that she is having contractions and was wondering if she could get a ride to the hospital to have her baby.
This was just the morning. The rest of my day was fun, driving everywhere, paying for things, getting hit on at the gas station for the hundredth time. It is flattering usually, and I know it is going to be something I will miss once I move back to the States.
Last night we went out to Tela for 2-for-1 pizza night. Worth the drive.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Some photoes
The kids working on their garden. One of the first programs from the Ed Center and the new Director Sergio.
This was the view from Mico Quemado
The August Birthday's at Kids Camp!
This is my cat Sophie! She is crazy and cute and a kitten. Walker and I have adopted her into our home.
pretty :-) this was from a botanical garden Guillermo Mahchi
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Ask and you shall receive
So work has started to pick up. I am excited. I have been in the Education Center all day Monday, Tuesday, and today working on emails, and with the students.
Monday night I had my first scheduled computer class. It is really difficult to have a computer class when we only have seven computers, and usually at least 2 are not working, and I have at least 15 people show up for the class. I had three different sessions of class.
Tonight I will run my second class. We shall see how it goes. Right now I am running the class for anyone who wants to come. Walker runs an English class in the library room next door. I do not want to take students away from his class so I will run a session after he finishes his class as well for those students who wish to.
I hope that the world spreads, and more adults come to my computer class. I love working with kids, but it is difficult working with mixed ages, and the reason we have classes at night is to make it easier for adults with their work schedule.
Maybe I can find a time during the day where women/mothers can come take the class. It is difficult for them to get away form the house at night because they have to feed the family, take care of the kids, ready everyone for bed, etc. The ideal would be to have a class of just students 16-22 years old. I think. If they could learn to use a computer they would be able to get a job at an office, or bank. We shall see.
Monday night I had my first scheduled computer class. It is really difficult to have a computer class when we only have seven computers, and usually at least 2 are not working, and I have at least 15 people show up for the class. I had three different sessions of class.
Tonight I will run my second class. We shall see how it goes. Right now I am running the class for anyone who wants to come. Walker runs an English class in the library room next door. I do not want to take students away from his class so I will run a session after he finishes his class as well for those students who wish to.
I hope that the world spreads, and more adults come to my computer class. I love working with kids, but it is difficult working with mixed ages, and the reason we have classes at night is to make it easier for adults with their work schedule.
Maybe I can find a time during the day where women/mothers can come take the class. It is difficult for them to get away form the house at night because they have to feed the family, take care of the kids, ready everyone for bed, etc. The ideal would be to have a class of just students 16-22 years old. I think. If they could learn to use a computer they would be able to get a job at an office, or bank. We shall see.
We also got a kitten today. And by got I mean I was at the pila (see picture) 
washing our dishes with the water we get for about an hour in the morning, and two little kittens walked up. We took in the one that had more of a personality, and his orange boring brother went to play with the kids next door. He have named her Sophie, and she is super sweet. We will have to train her, but I like her a lot. I hope she catches the mouse in our house.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Viviendo en Villa
So I moved out to our project in Villa Soleada this past week. It has been great! Much more tranquilo than in the center of town ("Centro") and surrounded by kids and families that I love being with.
Work has been slow. Students will start responding to emails hopefully once school really gets going, and the back-to-school fever dies down.
Anyway, things are going well here! I have been having blast! I have geckos, ants, spiders, and a mouse somewhere in my house. I take bucket showers, we only have water 3 hours of the day, kids or adults come knocking at our doors and windows at around 7 every morning, and we have dogs and roosters going at random hours throughout the night.
It is wonderful.
Today we drove our neighborhood soccer team to the mountains to play Mico Quemado. This is a mountain community that was even further up in the mountains than where these families used to live when they were at Siete de Abril. Getting up and down the mountain was an adventure in itself. I got to see the most beautiful view of the valley including the entire city of El Progreso. Pretty amazing.
Then I walked up to the pulperia (tiny grocery stores in peoples homes), and when I say up I mean UP. At least 45 degree incline in the blistering heat, for about 20 minutes. I learned from my friend that this was the route the kids used to take every day to school. It would take them an hour to walk to school, and by the time they got there they were a sweaty mess, and usually pretty dirty. No wonder so many kids don't finish schools. They aren't great to begin with, the teachers go on strike constantly, and its a battle just to get there.
Can't wait to see what comes next.
Work has been slow. Students will start responding to emails hopefully once school really gets going, and the back-to-school fever dies down.
Anyway, things are going well here! I have been having blast! I have geckos, ants, spiders, and a mouse somewhere in my house. I take bucket showers, we only have water 3 hours of the day, kids or adults come knocking at our doors and windows at around 7 every morning, and we have dogs and roosters going at random hours throughout the night.
It is wonderful.
Today we drove our neighborhood soccer team to the mountains to play Mico Quemado. This is a mountain community that was even further up in the mountains than where these families used to live when they were at Siete de Abril. Getting up and down the mountain was an adventure in itself. I got to see the most beautiful view of the valley including the entire city of El Progreso. Pretty amazing.
Then I walked up to the pulperia (tiny grocery stores in peoples homes), and when I say up I mean UP. At least 45 degree incline in the blistering heat, for about 20 minutes. I learned from my friend that this was the route the kids used to take every day to school. It would take them an hour to walk to school, and by the time they got there they were a sweaty mess, and usually pretty dirty. No wonder so many kids don't finish schools. They aren't great to begin with, the teachers go on strike constantly, and its a battle just to get there.
Can't wait to see what comes next.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
So far
Well I've been here for a little over two weeks. So now I have decided to start this blog that I promised some people I would do. This is going to be a quick backblog of the past couple weeks
August 3rd
We have been having a lot of trouble with our cars. This is a problem when we want to get around, which obviously we do since A. our house is hot and B. we didn't want to move down here to sit in our house all day
anyway, we drove out to Villa Soleada today, just me and my roommate Bobby. It was pretty good, really relaxed. It has been raining pretty much for the past week, so there wasn't too much activity.
We went to the Education Center where two of the quickest kids in Villa came to use the computers with us. I found some online math games for them, and had them "play" for an hour before they were allowed the treat of playing racing games online.
It is crazy how quickly they learn how to use the internet, and the computer. Some faster than others. I think it is largely based on how your brain works. If you work in a logical fashion a computer can make sense.
The most interesting thing to see is these kids learning how to use a mouse and how to use a keyboard. I have to show them how to put their hand on the mouse, and the best way to hold your elbow, where your fingers should go, etc. They'll get it soon. I am trying to think of ways we can get the kids to learn how to type.
In other news, out of no where a circus has popped up in the field across the street from us, so far I have only seen a lioness, and 2 ostriches.
August 2nd
a rat died in our "backyard" which is about the size of my bedroom. anyway, it was my turn to get rid of it.
i tried throwing it in a field, but it slipped (that alone was too gross for words) and then i basically skipped the rat across the dirt road in front of my house
whatta day
July 29th
Well, went to go see the kids again, and they told me that they haven't had classes since last Tuesday, when they celebrated the Indians. The teachers have been on strike.
The teachers are ALWAYS on strike. I cannot wait until this Education Center is up and running. There needs to be some stability in their educational lives.
July 24th
Today it was so hot the power went out in most of the city.
which made waking up this morning at 9 a real sweaty and gross treat, after going to bed around 4 AM because we went out dancing at a disco until the wee hours.
in other news, yesterday I got to teach a computer class quite unexpectedly. it was so fun, and I ended up teaching 4 sessions of a 20 minute class where I taught the kids the different parts of a computer, how to turn a computer on, how to use a mouse, the basic functions of a keyboard, how to open microsoft word and type a few sentences, how to exit a program, and how to turn off a computer.
im not gonna lie, it was really difficult to do.
now im off to dinner at a friends. shes cooking. I had no idea she could cook. i hope its not just beans and rice.
July 19th
Went to the school in Las Brisas where I taught last summer. Most of my class remembered me, which was really good for the ego ;-) but seriously made me really happy. It was "El dia del indio" where they sell food, and wear face paint and feathers, and one boy and one girl from each class dresses up like a Native American. They introduced me to their new teacher, and showed me their hut where they were selling food. They spent the past week working on this hut, and then will be spending the next few days celebrating "El dia del indio" which obviously only means good things for the education system of Honduras...
August 3rd
We have been having a lot of trouble with our cars. This is a problem when we want to get around, which obviously we do since A. our house is hot and B. we didn't want to move down here to sit in our house all day
anyway, we drove out to Villa Soleada today, just me and my roommate Bobby. It was pretty good, really relaxed. It has been raining pretty much for the past week, so there wasn't too much activity.
We went to the Education Center where two of the quickest kids in Villa came to use the computers with us. I found some online math games for them, and had them "play" for an hour before they were allowed the treat of playing racing games online. It is crazy how quickly they learn how to use the internet, and the computer. Some faster than others. I think it is largely based on how your brain works. If you work in a logical fashion a computer can make sense.
The most interesting thing to see is these kids learning how to use a mouse and how to use a keyboard. I have to show them how to put their hand on the mouse, and the best way to hold your elbow, where your fingers should go, etc. They'll get it soon. I am trying to think of ways we can get the kids to learn how to type.
In other news, out of no where a circus has popped up in the field across the street from us, so far I have only seen a lioness, and 2 ostriches.
August 2nd
a rat died in our "backyard" which is about the size of my bedroom. anyway, it was my turn to get rid of it.
i tried throwing it in a field, but it slipped (that alone was too gross for words) and then i basically skipped the rat across the dirt road in front of my house
whatta day
July 29th
Well, went to go see the kids again, and they told me that they haven't had classes since last Tuesday, when they celebrated the Indians. The teachers have been on strike.
The teachers are ALWAYS on strike. I cannot wait until this Education Center is up and running. There needs to be some stability in their educational lives.
July 24th
Today it was so hot the power went out in most of the city.
which made waking up this morning at 9 a real sweaty and gross treat, after going to bed around 4 AM because we went out dancing at a disco until the wee hours.
in other news, yesterday I got to teach a computer class quite unexpectedly. it was so fun, and I ended up teaching 4 sessions of a 20 minute class where I taught the kids the different parts of a computer, how to turn a computer on, how to use a mouse, the basic functions of a keyboard, how to open microsoft word and type a few sentences, how to exit a program, and how to turn off a computer.
im not gonna lie, it was really difficult to do.
now im off to dinner at a friends. shes cooking. I had no idea she could cook. i hope its not just beans and rice.
July 19th
Went to the school in Las Brisas where I taught last summer. Most of my class remembered me, which was really good for the ego ;-) but seriously made me really happy. It was "El dia del indio" where they sell food, and wear face paint and feathers, and one boy and one girl from each class dresses up like a Native American. They introduced me to their new teacher, and showed me their hut where they were selling food. They spent the past week working on this hut, and then will be spending the next few days celebrating "El dia del indio" which obviously only means good things for the education system of Honduras...
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