November already?

The time has just flown by. I apologize to all two of you who read my blog and ask for posts. I knew I would be terrible at this.

Tonight we lost power out from about 4 PM until 7 PM. (Exactly the hours I give computer classes, which was unfortunate)

It was crazy not having power. I have not had to experience that much in my life, but most of the families here spent years with out power. They have become accustomed to it again after being here for the past year.

We are surrounded by "palmeras" or palm tree farm land. It is pitch black, goodness knows what goes on in there at night, and my friend Bobby likes to say, "its what I envision it must have been like in 'Where the Wild Things Are'". I am not actually frightened to be here ever, so I am still not afraid in the dark, but it is a crazy feeling to literally have no lights, save the moon.

I went next door for dinner to Don Ramon and Doña Natalias. She made steak skewers and beans for us. I always have mixed feelings when they invite us over for dinner. Especially when its really good food like steak. It is wonderful to have neighbors who are your friends and invite you over for dinner, but at the same time, they aren't wealthy. I wish they would save the food for themselves, but they are more generous than one can imagine.

I have been feeling down lately because I feel like I am not doing enough. My job for SHH became spending more time at the bank, the car repair shop, running errands, and paying bills than working with the kids or the chapters. This has added to my running frustration with the organization. I have put in four years time into this organization. I focused on International Development in my UG, and spent time with International Development professionals trying to learn all that I could on what makes a successful project, specifically an Education Center.
Yet I have no say here.

On top of that, I don't see much upward movement of the Ed Center. Its been four months and we are roughly in the same state. We have more students coming from the colonia, and the kids are progressing in their computer work, and apparently doing better in school, but we have no new programs, and no teachers. Why is this? Why don't we have teachers?

I realized one problem - me. I said when I started working for SHH that I wanted to spend time at the Ed Center, and help out. My volunteering at the Ed Center at night was just to tie things over until we got teachers. It was also my attempt to offer classes to the adults.
The adults never came, and we haven't even started looking for teachers.
Why is this?
The adults feel like they are a lost cause. Many of them feel like they are too uneducated and therefore unworthy of using a computer, and don't want to be embarrassed. Also, many of them have spent the day working, or are spending the evening making dinner, cleaning the dishes, the kids, and the house.
We haven't started looking for teachers because "we have four SHH employees who work at the Ed Center". Me, Walker, Sergio (who does all the teaching by himself all day, but really should be spending his time administrating projects since he is the DIRECTOR), and Ingrid (a nice woman who is not an educator. She can watch the kids for about five minutes before getting distracted). Being able to say there are four SHH employees working at the Ed Center means there is no reason to pay for another person to teach here.

Does this mean I should quit teaching to ensure that SHH starts looking for a teacher within the next few months? Teaching my class is what gets me through the week. It is challenging, new, exciting, and EXACTLY why I wanted to come down here in the first place.

This turned into a rant. And not a cohesive one. I will read through it later.

Right now I am focusing on getting through the next two weeks. In mid November I will be retuning to the USA to the great Commonwealth of Virginia where I shall see my friends and family whom I have missed dearly.
In the next two weeks I am challenging myself to have a great time, spend as much time with the kids, and brush off the annoyances that come along with this organization. I have been having a great time down here, just the last couple of weeks have been tough. I'm trying to shake off that feeling and help these kids as much as I can.

Ojala.